Home Run Derby No Longer

⊆ 11:16 AM by Jay | ˜ 2 comments »

I have, as of this morning, written an email to my good friend Bud Selig requesting that he do away with the term home and replace it with Josh Hamilton. No longer will you hear, "Oh what a monstrous home run!" or "He just hit a walk-off HOME RUN to end the ball game!" Now, it will sound like this, "Oh my, what a monstrous Josh Hamilton!" or "I have never seen a Josh Hamilton hit that far before!" or when Hamiton hits one, "Josh Hamilton just JOSH HAMILTONED to win game 7!" No more home run derby, now we shall have the Josh Hamilton derby, where one Josh Hamilton after another is launched over the fence. And, one more new rule, to advance to round two, one must hit 28 Josh Hamiltons or JHs in the first round, or they may not advance. And if no one advances, then Josh Hamilton automatically wins by default.

Now, some of you out there may read this and say to yourself, "This guy is completely out of his mind. He's just a crazy Ranger's fan who finally has something to cheer about." Well, well, well. While that may be exactly the case, I would to point out that Josh Josh Hamiltoned further that Babe Ruth ever did in Yankee Stadium and he has his own candy bar. So, I don't think my request is too far fetched. That's pretty much all I have to say today, you can either agree with me or be wrong, whatever.

Peace y'all.

 

The Olympics

⊆ 11:45 PM by Jay | ˜ 0 comments »

Truly the only athletic competition in which all the world has a chance to compete for national honor and pride. Here in America we dub the title holder of Major League Baseball "World Series Champions" and in the National Football Association and National Basketball Association the winner is also bestowed the title of "World Champions." Yet, outside of a couple Canadian teams, the rest of the world can merely watch and wonder, could we be the world champions? But in the Olympics, even the smallest of countries like Trinidad and Tobago and Cape Verde have the chance to place their best against the United States, Great Britain, Russia and the rest of the world.

These days so few people respect the honor bestowed among these athletes that compete not for money or fame, but national respect. A chance to stand at the top of the podium and hear their national anthem played in front of the entire world. It is a shame to me that here in America so many professional athletes reject the invitation to compete on our national team whether it be basketball, hockey or any of the other team sports we have the opportunity to field a team. To me, if you are going to take advantage of the popularity of sports here in America that allows you to make large sums of money playing a game, then you should pay your dues and support your generous country when she calls upon you to support her.

I cannot describe the feelings and emotions that I have as I watch each event of the Olympic games every two years. I cannot help but wish that I had the opportunity to be in the position of the gifted athletes that represent our great country on a global stage. To me there is no greater honor, no higher goal to attain, no contract worth more than that chance to win the gold and for the United States of America, my country, my honored home. So to all those athletes that are out there competing for the USA and for all of the other countries around this small world, I say to you, "God bless, God speed, and God be with you all."

 

Lawndarts and Survival of the Fittest

⊆ 1:49 AM by Jay | ˜ 2 comments »

Ok, so, who out there remembers lawn darts, surely there are many people reading this older than my 23 years that can recall a good game of lawn darts, right? It was the great game of foot long steal spikes that looked like darts and you would throw across the yard at a target, or a person. In my view, what a grrreat game, but the government said, "NO! you can't have large steal spikes being hurled around through the air like a miniture game of global thermo nuclear war. People might get huuurt, some people aren't smart enough to use them properly and the misuse of such a game could result in serious injury." Yeah, well, ok? I say, if you get stabbed by a lawn dart and it causes serious injury or death, you probably shouldn't be reproducing anyway. Honestly, do deer or elk get to set up rules specifying that people can't use certain guns because they might inflict serious injury or death, "Sorry, hunters not allowed to use bolt action rifles anymore, all guns must be single shot muzzle loaded rifles for safety." NO?! (Note: this is not a PETA protest) What happens in the woods is who ever runs the fastest doesn't die. Survival of the fittest. Same thing applies here, I say throw a few more lawn darts out there and get rid of those people who can't figure out what to do at a 4-way stop, or drive 10 mph under the speed limit, swerving from lane to lane while talking on their cell phone. Now when I put it that way, lawn darts don't sound like such a bad thing do they? And to add to this, and not to bash the South, because I am from Oklahoma, but lawn darts aren't exactly a game played in London or New York City, so I think it would be safe to say that if you have ever received permanent injury from a game of lawn darts, you might be a redneck.

 

In the Beginning

⊆ 1:38 AM by Jay | ˜ 0 comments »

This is the beginning of the end for anyone currently reading this, if you can tear yourself away from this page you might want to. I realize that after a few more posts, this will not be the first thing that you see and will be eventually pushed back to latter pages and may never again be seen by the sorry souls who will someday wander into this site and get stuck, as you are now. The fact that I am taking time to write this and, even more, explain this proves the rediculousness (<-Not a real word) of this blog. In case you have not figured this out by now, NEWSFLASH! it's about nothing! Or in a sense it could be about everything since nothing would just be a blank canvas. Now that that's all out of the way, here is the place to start my first actual blog.
It will occur immediately after/before this post, thanks bye.